If you are like most, you probably have had very little success with so called “success programs”. In fact, you’ve probably found this very web site because you are still searching.
Perhaps you are very familiar with the feelings of excitement and enthusiasm when you find and purchase a program that you feel will finally provide you the key that will unlock all that potential pent up inside only to drift slowly into disappointment and back to the way things use to be.
Well, you are not alone. One major problem with success programs and success training methods in general is that they all tend to focus on a one successful person’s experience, habits, and applied knowledge. But what’s wrong with that you may ask?
A Basic Problem With Success Programs
The problem is that your unique, individual personality has not been factored into the equation. This fact alone alters the effectiveness of any technique used including how it will be implemented by you.
Simply put, any success techniques and habits and any subsequent positive results can only be replicated by the very personality that generated it in the first place. To ignore this and press on is like forcing a square peg into a round hole.
True, there are exceptions, but if you investigate thoroughly you will discover that those individuals who have made a particular program work for them, have a remarkably similar personality to the author of the success program.
Other success programs lump successful individuals together, search for commonalities and package this as “Twelve Secret Habits of The Worlds Most Successful People”. Like the first example, this omits you as part of the equation. Whats more, it’s typically generic and lacks real power to motivate. It is like placing pineapple, grapes, strawberries, banana, and a lemon into a blender. There is no one flavor that hits the taste buds with any identifiable clarity.
Most successful people will universally agree that having a plan and setting goals is essential for success. Therefore, their seminars, books, websites or CD programs will begin by teaching you how to design a plan for success. But in reality, successful people operate from an intuitive position, where events just naturally fall into place. You may find this hard to believe, but often successful people don’t even really know how they achieved their own success. It’s not until someone ask them “How did you do it?” that they even give it much thought and then perhaps write a book or program.
The Problem With “One Size Fits All”
Another problem with success programs is that you must conform to them. Initially this is acceptable. After all, there must be something within you that needs to be fixed or altered in order to achieve success, otherwise you wouldn’t be searching for a success program in the first place. However, eventually, the habits that you have conformed to fade away and you find yourself back to they way things use to be. The reason is simple. Following another persons path to success is unnatural and foreign to who you really are at the core. You are trying to conform to something intended for somebody else. It’s like putting on a suit hand tailored for a 300 pound 7 foot tall person when you are 125 pounds at 5 feet.
If there was a “one size fits all” single model or single set of principles to obtain success, then there would be only one single solitary “How To” success book in print. Instead, there are hundreds of theories on motivation, relationships, sales, and success.
The Core Failure of Success Programs
The number one reason success programs fail to provide lasting results for you is that they are all based on a faulty premise: That an abstract, intuitive achievement such as “success”, can be taught using a physical model or process.
To illustrate the point we’ll enlist the aid of a syllogism. (A three-step deductive argument that moves logically from a major and a minor premise to a conclusion.)
- Dad knows how to tie shoes
- Dad teaches Johnny how to tie shoes
- Johnny knows how to tie shoes
Logically you can see how tying shoes can be taught from a father to his son. Whether or not Johnny learned to tie his shoes is physically evident or tangible.
Now, try trading the term “tie shoes” (which is a physical event) with “happy, successful, or motivated (which are all non tangible or abstract ideas)”
- Tony is happy (successful or motivated)
- Tony teaches Jonathan how to be happy (successful or motivated)
- Jonathan is happy (successful or motivated)
Notice that you cannot say with any certainty that Jonathan is or will be either happy, successful or motivated. Jonathan’s state of being is simply not tangible or measurable. The reason again is: You cannot teach an “abstract idea” using a model or process designed to generate “physical results”.
True, success programs can generate excitement and they can be motivating for a while. For the majority, the effects are very short-term, on average lasting a mere 10 to 15 days leaving you feeling like you did before you attended or studied the program or more often than not, worse.
Really Ponder This For a Moment. What If…
There was nothing to fix in you but rather something to discover about yourself that will give your life purpose and ease?
You could be yourself and live a life of success and do it naturally without conforming to somebody else’s program?
Success can be achieved not by what you do, but by simply being yourself?
Based upon your own natural capabilities you could create your own definition of success and find real happiness?
The First Step To Lasting Authentic Success
The first step is to discover who you really are. This is not defined by your achievements, your education, your status, title, gender, or age. The “Real You” is the observer that has been ever-present within you, witnessing your entire existence. It is the part of you that has remained unchanged and consistent throughout your life. It is responsible for recalling to mind all those precious, sad and ordinary moments of your life. It is also the cause for all the objects and relationships around you and all that you do in life including your successes and failures.
The “Real You” is known as your “Authentic Identity” and at its center is a single “Core Motivator” running the show.
Discovering your unique Core Motivator and understanding its strengths and weaknesses is the key to your success. In essence, you are your own success program, hand crafted and tailor-made to suit you perfectly. Success will come to you naturally as your Authentic Identity begins to be fully expressed and the people around you begin to take notice.
What a controversial but very reassuring statement: “You are your own success program.” ! As one of your clients, I know this is absolutely true, but many people might find this hard to believe because you also say “The ‘Real You is…the part of you that has remained unchanged and consistent throughout your life.” and most people would say they have changed drastically throughout their life. Can you please give some examples about what part of us remains unchanged and consistent throughout our life?
We both change and stay the same. Imagine you are 10 years old sitting in a classroom. Look at your self: what are you wearing? what do you look like? how is your hair styled? We can all do this. we can see ourselves from the very earliest age to seconds ago.
Now, while looking at that 10 year old girl and describing what you see, ask yourself who is doing the watching? Better yet, can you get inside the little 10 year old girl you once were and turn toward the eyes looking at her?
The self doing the watching is called the Authentic Self and the image you see is of the Synthetic Self. The Authentic Self cannot change or your inner identity would disappear. You would not be Biz but become Janet or Sue. However, the Synthetic Self is designed to change with time and experience. It is the flexible and creative self.
Together, the Authentic Self can watch the Synthetic Self Change.